Getting moved to another cubicle at work. Again. Out of the big, bright, quiet desk off the main walkways and with the team I work with daily, where I have noticed my stress and anxiety has decreased by orders of magnitude. Back into a tiny, dark, cramped cubicle with a pillar taking up 1/4 of it, on a corner of two major walkways, completely isolated from everyone I work with, directly outside a very loud woman’s office, with my workspace visible to literally everyone who passes. I wish I were exaggerating when I say that I have been in tears about it all afternoon. I tried talking to my boss about why I can’t do this again, but it was so humiliating hearing my voice waver and feeling my face turn red and knowing he could tell every ounce of energy I was putting into not openly crying in front of him. Plus, like, even when I can express it, no one ever understands why sitting in an environment like that is so awful? “It’s just a desk” okay thanks, yes, you’re right, of course, why bother.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I just came off of six months of anxiety so high that I couldn’t walk to the bathroom if I knew someone was in the hallway between me and it. I don’t have the time or energy to look for another job. I’ve had so many interviews that went nowhere and so many rejections. I can’t do this again, but what the fuck else can I do? 

damalur:

ninety6tears:

An excerpt from Tana French’s upcoming The Secret Place has now been added to the official site. Woohoo!

#alert alert #put down your john adams book and go read it

2REAL

thirddeadlysin:

Do you ever wonder how you would have voted on the issue of independence if you were a member of the Continental Congress in 1776 (and they allowed you to be a voting member in the very likely case that you aren’t a rich white land-owning dude)?

Today’s Revolutionary question is HOW FUCKING AWKWARD would it be to be the first American minister to have a personal audience with the king? Like. MY GOD.

slenderlock:

Problems:

  1. I want this story to be written
  2. I don’t want this story to be written by anyone but me
  3. I don’t want to write this story

(via boonies)

snorlaxatives:

why the fuck does everyone in the purge movies want to kill people if crime was legal i’d find a way to erase my student debt and also probably steal a bunch of new clothes

(via rubyvroom)

I wanted to start doing the Six for Sunday meme again but lol original fiction who cares. If there were any fic happening it would go here, but it’s all vomit draft for the rest of the summer (and my Crossovering fic as soon as I finish working out … what it is exactly). And, I mean, it is not an exaggeration to call it a vomit draft. I’m already looking forward to revising.

But, for week one:

:D!

Next week, I might do some six-sentences for character backstories? Right now I’m going to put down the computer and lie face-down in bed.

Oh! This novel is definitely still getting dedicated to Bob Dylan. Because. This week’s song on repeat to keep my brain quiet during writing was Boots of Spanish Leather with a little Coffitivity and TNG ambient noise for background.

alltheladiesyouhate:

if i could time travel i’d go forward in time to when my manuscript is finished and published and has fans, get all the fanmixes people made for it, and then come back in time and use them as a writing playlist

(via rj-anderson)